Before I have friends put me down for questioning the love of God, know that I believe it, and I receive it. This short discourse is merely a reflection on how it baffles me. I can do absolutely nothing for God, and I can’t possibly love Him the way He loves me.
God, why do You love me?
I’m not lovely. I never was. I’m inclined toward selfishness, and I have been since I was born. I’m prone to complaining and my perspective on life is entirely warped. I’m prone to ask what others can do for me, not what I can do for others. Even since You’ve saved me, I don’t see everything through Your eyes. I’m impatient, I’m far too quick to speak and far too slow to listen.
I relate far too many experiences in life to myself. I always think about things in terms of how I would feel about it, how I would react, and how I would do things differently.
But mostly, Lord, here’s what baffles me about the fact that You love me –
You don’t need me. Not even in the slightest. You never even had to create me. You never had to come in the form of a man and die on a cross to pay the price – to exact justice – for all of the bad things I’ve done and ever will do; for every ounce of selfishness I exude; for all the times I look at life the wrong way; for all the times I act in ways which deeply affect others. You don’t need me to exist, you don’t need my money, and you surely don’t need my love.
So why, then?
It must be for some other reason. It must be because You want me. It must be that You choose me.
Lord, as a needy, needy man, help me understand that, because it makes no sense whatsoever.