if it weren’t for grace..

My sleeping habits have changed a lot over the last few years…

When I was 18 or 19 I would try desperately to take naps when I was tired in the afternoon, but couldn’t. Then all of a sudden–I’m not sure why–I was able to. Naps come with a price for me, however…I can’t go to sleep at the normal time when I go to bed at night. Naps became incredibly important when I started opening at Starbucks and was up every morning at 4 or 4:15 and at work by 5. Waking up wasn’t the hard part, staying awake later was hard.

Then a funny thing happened–I turned 21. my first alcoholic drink was a Crown & Coke–Crown royal bought for me by my friend Ben and a nice bottle of coke. It was terrific. But I soon learned that alcohol makes me very tired very quickly. Then I started using it to my advantage.

Today is a perfect example–I was exhausted when I came home from class and I just couldn’t focus on homework, so I decided to nap. I knew I’d be sharper mentally when I was thinking about homework, not how tired I was. So, since I need to be in bed at a reasonable time (it’s 1050 and this still isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but…) I decided to buy a Pepsi from the gas station and mix it with some rum. It’s basically a sleeping pill that tastes fantastic. 

I had a bit of a moment as I was pouring rum into my cup though–I wonder how many people would, according to the way they’ve been raised, think it was an abomination to go near a bottle of rum. 

there are things like this which, don’t get me wrong, can be very dangerous if you don’t know yourself. I personally know that I wouldn’t drink more than one drink because I couldn’t live with showing up to work hung over (paired with, I don’t think alcohol tastes THAT good) 

But I know that if it weren’t for grace, I wouldn’t be so free. I know that under grace, I don’t have to be worried about the power of sin, and that “all things are lawful for me.” It may be an insignificant, minute thing, but I’m glad that because of grace, I can have a drink so I can fall asleep. 

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