I always do this. Always, always, always.
This is going to be one of those really personal, slightly frustrated but relieved kind of blogs.
I always get my hopes up about something I’m interested only to give up on it, but in this case, I guess I’m glad about it.
Disclaimer: I think the reason it upsets me so badly is because I think that people are watching me and following this stuff about me, which is probably not true, but oh well.
I started to get excited about baseball, particularly sabermetrics and statistics, to the point that I went to a seminar about it this weekend in Boston.
I got a hard dose of reality.
I was around dudes who live, breathe, eat, and drink this stuff. They would approach guys I’d never heard of who wrote for Baseball Prospectus, Fangraphs, etc and just start talking about a certain column that they wrote and would have discussions. I don’t read that stuff! I was in way over my head at this seminar. The fact is, I was trying to get interested in stuff I’m way behind on. I was trying to expand a skill set I don’t have. If sabermetrics was a major in college, I’m at a 101 level, if not an 095 level. These guys were grad students. They do this with their spare time. With my spare time, I sit at coffee shops, write blogs, watch kids, play music, and play the xbox.
And that’s when it hit me that that is absolutely okay.
As I approach graduation (it’s a year away) I start to worry about having a plan and knowing exactly where I will apply when I get out to get a long-term job. I’m starting to realize that it’s okay to not know where I’ll be for the next 35 years. My life philosophy isn’t usually to just take things as they come, meaning I like to remotely have a plan and know what’s going on, but the fact is, right now I couldn’t tell you a place that I’d like to work for a while. And honestly, that’s not the issue to me. I don’t have a “career” in mind. My major is psychology, but that’s not the field I’m going into. I chose psychology because it’s the only major I saw that would remotely apply to ministry, which is the only big aspiration I have. Doing/being in ministry is the only thing about which I can say I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. It’s the only thing I care about as deeply as some of the guys at this conference cared about sabermetrics.
I’m more concerned with what and who is in my life than I am about what job I have. For example, I’m not going to move a thousand miles across the country for a job that will take me away from my friends and family. That’s my priority, and I think that’s okay.
I’m just relieved that this weekend put things into perspective for me. That as well as how amazing Fenway Park was made the whole thing worth it.