Some days you are asked a question that really gets you thinking — today I was asked one of those questions.
“and what have you been doing lately, Jeff?”
Should be an easy question, right? The honest answer is that I’ve been working a lot of mornings at Starbucks, coming home, reading some, watching television, occasionally watching kids, playing softball every Friday night, and so on. Really, nothing spectacular is going on right now.
For some reason, I always think I have to have some super spiritual answer for that. But the more I think about it, that’s not necessarily necessary. I mean–I am inclined to be doing something. I’m a bit of a busybody, so not having anything going on can drive me nuts. But what do I expect myself to say? How I’ve been leading crusades every weeknight? How I’ve been hosting a Bible study every Wednesday night at the local coffee shop? Not that either of those things are bad, and in fact they are great. The thing is, God hasn’t told me to do them. In fact, only a month or so I was writing in my journal about how I feel like right now I’m right where I’m supposed to be–I haveavailable time to be there for people if necessary, I’m relaxing, I’m not worrying about anything, so what’s the problem?
Here’s the point I’m trying to get at. There seems to be this tension between where we are and where we “should be” sometimes. But the thing is, if God hasn’t called you to be in a certain place or be doing a certain thing, then you have nothing to worry about if you’re not there doing that thing. I’m in a season in life right now where I feel like what I need to be doing is working hard, being a good student, and being “on call” for when people need me around the church.
The deeper issue at hand, I think, is an issue of worth. Am I the only one who ever feels like they’re not worth much if they’re not spending every night of the week doing something for the church? The truth is, that’s not where our value lies. (this is a lesson I am learning as I write.) The issue of salvation is already settled. We’re not working towards our salvation. We’re working to establish the kingdom of God, sure. But you don’t work for your worth.
This is a bit scatterbrained and spontaneous of a post, but I felt like I needed to get some things off my chest. Maybe I’m just uneasy because I miss doing hands-on ministry and get lonely at home every night. That much is definitely true. But maybe it needs to be said that you are right where you’re supposed to be if you’re listening to the Lord’s voice in your life and doing what you feel He wants you to be doing, not trying to push your own super-spiritual ideas.